How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Jojobas Witness open up

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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Gabe Mercado

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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What do you call a black guy who walks into your house and takes your stuff. A repoman, pay your taxes next time

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops