Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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What happened when the man was about to hug the sexiest person he ever saw in his life? He hit the mirror.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A man sat down Then he stood up

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Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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