Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Penis.

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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My son lost his first tooth today...so proud. Took my punch like a champ

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What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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