what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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whats worse then finding a finger in your soup? - being a cook and losing a finger

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. ... Hah.

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So i was thinking of going to japan for spring break. I've heard they have some awesome swells.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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aa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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