A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down +4

this website...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

24

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops