Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

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Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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KILL WHITEY

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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cats are pussies

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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