What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how did harry styles get in one diretion god

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So there's this guy, and he's trying to screw in a lightbulb, right? Well, he did it. Hoorah. His wife was proud.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops