what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Gustavo Andrade

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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What Makes Me Smile? Face Muscles.

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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