How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? It's everybody in the world telling you to stop re-using this joke.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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