Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There are two types of people in the world: humans

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +10

David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

thumb_up thumb_down

1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops