Whos worse than Akise Teague. Mike Vick

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Billy wanted a pet...and now he got cancer...

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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So a seal walks into a club.

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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