Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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antijoke is the best website.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Terraria

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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