what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

thumb_up thumb_down -36

a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply because he was incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock Goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -92

A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

That was SOOOOO funny that I laughed!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops