Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

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Verbal assault; because battering someone to death with a dictionary has never been so much fun. [L]

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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why couldn't the boy eat his oreo's? His sister ate it.

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops