What do you call double A's? Batteries

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Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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And then i said what about breakfast at tiffanies, and then you said i hate that movie.

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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