What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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Netball.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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A storm be brewin!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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