A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Obama

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If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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My mom just died....

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Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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Lewis

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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Whats worse than a repeated Anti-joke This One

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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