What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What do you say to a woman in the kitchen? Cook me some food.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

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What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

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Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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what is long black and smelly the welfare line

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What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work? He was weird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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