Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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Roses are red, bikers are blur.....I love you ( drunk texting )

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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Q: What do you call men at sea? A: Sailors

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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