What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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What's better than a gold brick? 2 gold bricks.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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