why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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Barack Obama

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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that wall over there ->

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

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What white and black and red all over? The wife who refused to report that her husband abused her.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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