roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Drunk irish man

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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