What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

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I AM SO FAT I WANT TO EAT MORE FOOD. I NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE IM GOING TO END UP LIKE YOUR MOM!

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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