a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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