A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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