How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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how do you win a game try your best

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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Q: who's Snow White's brother A: egg white Get the yolk!

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One, two, three, four and five

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Doctor Doctor i have a shoe in my braces. I bet it smells haha.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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