roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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ccjcjcjcjcjcjjcjcjcjjcjcjcjcjcjcjccjcjcj why

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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