If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

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Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

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Q:where does baby oil come from? A:Only the finest of babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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