Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

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What is my name? I dont know

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What did the clown say to the other clown? I was not present at this conversation, and therefore I was not able to catch what they were saying

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Why don't people like this joke? It makes no sense.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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I love Japan. It's the bomb.

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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