Knock Know! Come in!

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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