What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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A woman had a dream. She followed this dream and completed all the goals she had set in life and was excessively happy. Then she woke up and her original suspicions were confirmed...it was a dream.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Hitler

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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