A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He was dead. Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third koala fall off the tree? He thought it was a game so he joined in.

Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

Hey, speaking of anti jokes, there is much in the bible that facinates me, but that I find to be... Very... Ilogical, but then again I know a lot about the spiritual to open the the possibility to the (maybe) fact that the answers lie in the spiritual realm or you know whatever you prefer to call it. But you know, God has existed for eternities eternal etc, forever, and only some few thousand years ago he decided to let there be light? Kinda makes sense to why he was such a hardass in the first testament, I mean wow it must have been depressive for eternal eternities until he created light huh? Maybe he slept as many other Gods tend to do in a theological perspective. The other that baffles me completely: God has an enemy known as Sin, that is so powerful that he must sacrifice his own son in order to keep it away? I mean has Sin ever sacrificed anything to good? In that way they would be opposites and not God sarcificing stuff as humans sacrificed stuff animals (and almost a son Iscaac right? Because you know God and Satan where kinda chummy and enjoyed betting and good sport... My viewpoint at least) And Now I just repeat myself, but if Light was Gods first invention, who created voice? Was it part of his being? Why was light not part of his being? Is light not the path to God? "The Light"? Its horsehead Network and I do not expect much of this site sincerely, but if you find the time, the care, the love and Guidance of God provides (yeah I am appealing to your Good Christian side) then please find it in your Jesus filled heart to leave me what you think is missing or perhaps I do not understand at all. And if I ever become a Christian again, ill tell God and Jesus that you where the person that got me there, put in a good word for eternal life huh? Get you and maybe even your mother and father that made you that kind with Gods guidance a nice V.I.P place up there huh? If there is a God out there, he loves all the same yeah, but he keeps favorites, I mean those that suffer eternally in hell... I don't like questioning what I do not understand to a certain tangible degree, but does he do this with the same love he treats those that go to heaven?

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

whos district champs not JM

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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