What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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69.... is a number

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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whats better than sex? cookies

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why did the black student fail his math test? Because he was severely traumatized by the school shooting that had occurred during the test. He was later relieved to hear that the teacher did not count the test, because the legal paperwork surrounding the death of 12 students was somewhat overwhelming.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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How are you? Yes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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