Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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You will not press the like button.

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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Women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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