Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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