-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

And more;

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The foreskin of a baby gorilla

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why Did The Girl Fall Off The Swing. IDK maybe she fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops