Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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GONNA

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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No joke.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

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Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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Everyone always gets up in arms over human trafficking... ... Well I kind of enjoy the convenience of air travel and so on.

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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