Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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"Whooaaa Momma." - Says Johnny Bravo

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, which would e very unsafe to do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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