A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

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What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

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what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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