Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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An Asian man fails a math test

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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