How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why didn't the boy finish his homework? He was in a coma.

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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