A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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