How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

Why does everyone hate on justin beiber cause its easy

your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

Person 1 : i need to sneeze Person 2 : ok ( person 1 sneezes ) Person 2 : bless u ( few seconds later ) did u sneeze? Person 1 : yep :)

What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? F*ck

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

ded on boomer and aodddan

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

A llama walks into a pub. Actually, he didnt, because it is physically impossible for a llama to stand up and proceed to walk over 2.8 feet. That stat was a lie.

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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