What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

tim has no humor

A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

Anti jokes.

What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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