What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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