how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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What's black and has a beary taste? A black bear.

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A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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What did the orphan get for Christmas. A key chain.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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