Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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The Female Orgasm

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I'm getting sick of holocaust jokes can't you Nazi Anne Frankly I'm sick of it

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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OBAMA

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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A guy walks into a bar. He's thirsty and wants a beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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