Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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An atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said "god bless you". He thanked them and continued on with his normal day because it wasn't really that big of a deal to him.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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What worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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9/11 my birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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