What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse then a worm in your apple? 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call your mom? mom

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You know what is not cool? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops