What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What stops a train? A missile

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

This joke is the worst joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? He did not. He drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +320

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops