How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Your mom is so nice.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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What did the 16 year old boy say to the obese girl who failed at typing? "sucks for you bitch-face."

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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Dogs in my home.

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What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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