What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need some money.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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what did the bannana say to the milk carton. nothing bannanas cant talk and their on the other side of the store

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If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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Sac

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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Black Friday

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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