How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in a French bathroom? Imprisonment up to 15 years in an international detainment facility.

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Frontbut-

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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