What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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