How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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69

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Women's rights.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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What happens when you roll a quarter down the street in Mexico? It rolls for a small period of time but eventually it falls over and stops rolling because quarters aren't able to roll very far on imperfect surfaces.

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The Morman Religion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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angelo snyder is not ga

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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