What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Penis in a butthole. Consentual Sex.

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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What did the asshole say to his friend behind him? Fart

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

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if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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Why did the man poop his pants. becuase he had to poop.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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How do you make a burns victim cry? You show them a mirror.

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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