What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

I got pissed off at my little brother... So I threw him out of the window.

There are two types of people in the world: humans

why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

I dont have a girlfriend

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

A man, a woman and their child wen to a restaurant. There was a horse in it and they left. The Holocaust begun

Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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