What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Life is like a box of chocolates, quite strange to enjoy when you're single.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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soccer

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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This is not a joke

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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