What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? I thought you were dead.

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A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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