Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

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what do you call a black man with no arms or legs sitting on a porch? "sir" His life is hard enough with out being subject to social rudeness

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 magnum and murdered her violently.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: Nooooo! Darth Vader: Yes.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?!"

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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?ti saw won troffe eht htrow t'nsaw yllaer siht

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Chuck Norris walked into a bar. He was greeted with much respect considering he was a talented actor.

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A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" And nothing happened.

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Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

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Why do christians believe in God? Because believing in God is fundemental in their belief system; if they did not believe in God they simply wouldn't be christians. Muslims are in a similar predicament.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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If you're reading this, you can read.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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