HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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