What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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what do u call 2 puerto rician men playing basketball? won on won

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Q:what does your face and this site have in common? A:both are poorly constructed

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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You and your parents are going to die today

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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