Knock knock. Come in.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

What's the difference between a plane and a Muslim dentist? A plane hasn't dedicated its life to the study of dentistry

whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

How do you kill a Jew? Shoot him in the head.

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

A girl's opinion is respected.

doctor doctor i need help i stay up all night dancing what is it? dance fever! HAHAHAHA its fatal.

Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

You ever notice when geese fly in a V there is one line that is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese in that line.

Why are people racist? Thats a good question

Double rainbow? What does it mean? Well, a "double rainbow" is a phenomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?

Creationism.

My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she was swallowed whole by a 10 foot scorpion.

Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? Unloading them with a pitchfork

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping out of a plane? A world record sky diving group, and an improbably large aircraft.

Why doesn't the vampire like garlic? You have to exist to like garlic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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