How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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destiny

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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What do you call an arab terrorist with a bomb on his back in the middle of an airport? Don't even worry. You will never be able to pronounce his name.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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