"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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what's really good and is on TV Jersey Shore

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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