What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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Women's Rights.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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My Nan, that is all.

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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what is big and white? the moon

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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