you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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haha

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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