How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This doesnt rhyme, Microwave.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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High school is like forced anal sex, Hard, painful, and you cry your hopes and dreams at the end of it all.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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