Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

What do you call a feline attempting surgery? A catastrophe, because they aren't very good surgeons.

How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

You mothers so ghetto, you died.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

What does a Dominican and a Russian have in common... they are both thinking of a funny anti-joke to post on this site...

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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