Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

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NASCAR

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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