What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms. They were lost in a tractor accident.

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

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anne hatthaway

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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there was once a jew

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops