Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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The Moon Landing.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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A scottish man having fun

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Your mom.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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Why are white people not good at basketball? Because they aren't black.

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President Donald Trump

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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