Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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Why couldn't the Chinese women see... It's because she just got into a terrible car accident and suffered a rental detachment in both eyes. Follow up question, why was the Chinese women even allowed to drive?

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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what is meaningless and not fun at all? that joke

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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cool

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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