Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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