Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Q: What did the chinese man say to the other Chinese man? A: I don't know, I don't sneak Chinese

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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