What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? Justin is attracted to the female gender

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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THE GAME

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What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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Q. What did little John get from reading this. then wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops