Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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What's worse than bad words? People who say them

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops