Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Guess what What

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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What did Charlie Sheen say to Rebecca Black? If you care about the punchline I hate you.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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