What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

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Why did the black guy walk into the supermarket and buy 100 bananas? Because he works at the zoo you racist!

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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