whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? I don't know GOOD!

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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gingers

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back. And 6 million in the ashtray

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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