What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

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What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

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What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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What do you call a Jewish police officer? It depends on if you are Mel Gibson or not.

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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