How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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What did the pie say to the other pie? "I'm hungry" So he ate the other pie.

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whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

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How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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What rhymes with Hitler? Walt Disney.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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