Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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