I needed to write an article about heart disease so I did some research. I learned a lot.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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read this

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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Jackass! I was one of the central leaders of the fucking "old" underworld network, while you just scraped together whoever was left when the shit hit the ceiling and called it all yours! And stop trying to flatter yourself, your methods are an insult to everyone that knows what methods you are using, and probably every fucking else, charm is one thing, acting like a total queerfag is another. Lets see what the money you claim I will be receiving will do for me, as your goddamn "experts" "followers" are the ones that sliced my fucking eyeball almost in half, and if you had no idea, eyes are pretty much like fucking raw egg inside, so its not much to do about it. Listen, I know your fucking "order", its not Scientology, and its not FUCKING NERONISM! IF YOU ARE GOING TO CALL IT FOR WHAT IT IS YOU DO THAT! MY NAME IS NERO, ITS NOT AN ALIAS, ITS NOT A NICKNAME NOR SOME FUCKING "CYBER IDENTITY" So you better make sure that money arrives soon enough, or I will reveal the name of your "order", the locations and whatever members I know to the public, and you know I do not fucking mean those worthless queers you sent or did not send to harass me. And you know I do not mean here on fucking horsehead network, Ill start a fucking torrent on the piratebay, and share every fucking secret left, and you can bet there will be nowhere for your "high and mighty" ass to hide. Listen, My name is Nero, your name is "Axel Knight" (Or so you claim, if I where you, I would be hiding in shame too!) SO HOW THE HELL DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE THAT YOUR "ORDER" IS SUPPOSEDLY CALLED THE ORDER OF NERO?

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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Woman rights.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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