what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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why am i on this site? cause its funny

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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25

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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What did the prostitute say to the nun? It's nice to see you again, Sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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