Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

charlie sheen becomes sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Smoke weed till i die nigga

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats long and green? weed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's 2+2? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops