Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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What's worse than this That :(

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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