My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

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A black guy walks into a basketball court.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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Terry has ebola

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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