You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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oooh look a banshee

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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Why i didn't bought the "Anti Joke The Book".. Because the joke in it aren't funny..

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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hi hi strager danger

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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Whats worse than a Jew Ben rike

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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