what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Women's rights.

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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Hi

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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Why are white people not good at basketball? Because they aren't black.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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