Hummer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Tilt your screen back

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

thumb_up thumb_down -27

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Pi = Pie, something everybody likes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Betty Whites ALIVE?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops