Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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I had a submarine.... once

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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