What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

Why did Debby drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.

What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

A man and a prostitute walk into a bar. they have a few drinks then proceed to a hotel room where the man has sexual intercourse with the woman in exchange for money. The man then leaves while the woman stays in the hotel room and cries cause she hadn't achieved any of her dreams or life ambitions.

what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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