ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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A boy wakes up in the morning and says i"'m feeling kind of fishy today," the boy's dad walks in and relpies "that's because you are a fish."

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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