Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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Neil Lewis

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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shut up elliot

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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Q. who's george porchy?

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest!

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

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Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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