What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

...NO.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

hey

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

thumb_up thumb_down -5

vitamin c

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down -30

if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

thumb_up thumb_down +18

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops