- Anti Joke

Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

Why did the kitchen cross the road?

If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops