What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Losing a family member in 9/11.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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i committed murder

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

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Knock Knock! .... Knock Knock! ... There seems to be nobody at home...

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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hipsters

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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