Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

Whay is jerry so bad at parallel parking? He just got a sex change yesterday.

Your mother is average.

How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

What is more worse than death? Death

What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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