What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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How did the mecanic die? He drowned

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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What do you do to a little boy who just called you fat? Throw a rhino at him!

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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