Its true, he didnt write that!!

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Dear John,

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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