Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

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Please Rape William Wright

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

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poo is yummy

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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two black guys are in a car. Whose driving? The question is too broad. Either one of those men or unmentioned people could be driving the car.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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