What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

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aaaa

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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Membean

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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What do you call 200 black people dead in the ocean? It's a start.

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helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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