Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

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Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a daycare.

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If Daniel has 3 concaved man boobs, and Isabelle has 13 homosexual friends, what is the ratio of dolphins to African rapists? Wenis, because Jimmy was raped last night.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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