What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hitler is my role model

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the old man wander into the highway? He hated his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what has the same importance as mothers day? fathers day

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops