Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

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What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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