What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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A black guy with his family.

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

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Robin, get in the Bat-mobile!

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Why dd the little girl drop her ice cream cone? She lost her arms to cancer.

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here!" The other one says "We're both going to die in here and nobody will hear us scream."

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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