"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Womens rights

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What is worst than a1000 baby's stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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Dumbledore dies.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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