why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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A man walks into a bar... ...because he is blind.

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Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

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Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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The kid wakes up in the middle of the night to get some water. But over hears sounds from his parents room. he looks through the keyhole. Then he comtinues walking and says. "Why does mom say i cant suck things?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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