knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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