i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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