Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

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A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

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Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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Justin Beiber

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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Yo mama is so poor she used the welfare system and is a family of 4 and has a successful business now

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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