What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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Tell you something funny.

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A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Imma dog

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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