How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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MICHAEL

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once you go black your credit goes wack

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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Women.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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