The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

thumb_up thumb_down

Here come the elephants over the hill!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats circular and black? a black circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Cows are land manatees.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

thumb_up thumb_down -7

your face is kinda funny

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is worst then a blond trying to pass collage?....... There is nothin wrong with that

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops