Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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A man walks into a woman's bedroom... But I was already bored of the plot so I skipped to the end of the pornographic video.

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 1, 2 in mod7.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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