What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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Where's the soap?

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

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ur mum

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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