Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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Terry is at his job, when he drops his cookie on the floor. His coworker accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his coworker. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. Turns out Terry is black.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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