Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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You.

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Wumbo

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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Grapefruit.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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