A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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I'm hungry.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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How do you survive in the wilderness? You nail an orphan to a rock underwater.

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What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

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What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

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Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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the WNBA

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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Lacrosse

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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