why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Abortion.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

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smell the vitamin C

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

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why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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