What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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A tiger walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gets him a drink because he would rather not get vigorously consumed by a mighty beast.

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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