what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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The truth is he loves her!!

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I WILL DESTROY ISIS

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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