what's shaped like a tree? a tree

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

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A white man bumps into an Asian man while walking down the street. They have a brief chat. As they part ways, the white man says, "Facebook me!" The Asian man replies, "Due to my socio-economic situation I cannot currently afford an Internet service." So they exchange telephone numbers.

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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jack shine and keiran = nate robinson

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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What did the abortion say to the womb? I'm outta here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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