Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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