Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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