Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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zebras

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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hot diggity dog

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Why was the black woman poor? Well, she grew up in a wealthy family, but both of her parents died. Her new parents were not very supportive and she began to not care about school. She did not go to college because of this and was not able to get a job. Therefore, she had no money.

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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