Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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Women"s Rights

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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I hate long jokes -_-

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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