how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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The Pope

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car? A: Well, it varies on the size of the car and the size of the people entering the car so in reality there is no clear answer due to the lack of information given.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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What's a joke? Funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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