What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?!"

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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