A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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A kid has no friends.

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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