you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

whats the meaning of stonehenge? ask the ones that built it!

Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

a seal walks into a club.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches? A. So they can look like their mothers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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