Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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I got shot, you laughed

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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A man walks into a party, walks over to the snack stand, and is surprised to find that there is no punch line.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

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What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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A black man walks into a bar holding a weapon. He is asked to leave to leave because weapons are not allowed in the bar.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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two biscuits rolling down a hill one says, " where you from" the other replied "im not telling you, youl steal my washing"

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there was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead at the edge of a cliff The blond being stupid jumped off the cliff and broke every bone in her body

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Why was Shane cool... Because he was a cool bean.

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Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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