How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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