your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

What did the mute say to the deaf man?

10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

Me Neither.

Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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