how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

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Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why couldn't little Billy jump? He was dead.

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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