You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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A blonde walks into a bar... ...she got rufeed.

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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