How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Nicholas Cage

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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What did the coal miner get for Christmas? Black Lung Disease

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I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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Q: why did the plane crash? A: because jack daniels equals 7

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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