What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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Guess what day it is!!! Sunday? Monday? Tuesday? Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? Saturday? IT'S HUMPDAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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I need somebody to lean on... ...Because one of my legs was amputated after I was blown up on a mine field in afganistan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

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What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

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What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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penisface

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Justin Beiber

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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