how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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