There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cross light said signal said "GO"

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What do you call a black man who is great at basketball? An all-star

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

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Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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