Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

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Ian's mind Elevator music

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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My love life

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The Mets win the World Series

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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