Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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White men's rights

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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why wont me daughter eat my feces

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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