What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

thumb_up thumb_down +11

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

your mother hates you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I was going to tell a Holocaust joke, but I Jews not to. Anne Frankly, it's disrespectful. I'm sure you did Nazi that Hitlerious anti-joke coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's greasier than a baby? A burger

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops