Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

i have a christmas tree.

What's Tammie short for? Diabetes claimed both her legs.

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

If God gives you lemons you find a new God

why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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