"Knock knock" Come in!

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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How do you end a sentence

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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