I like touching my boobs

I have an erection My mom!

A POW is sitting in his cell when the guard walks up to him. He says "You may choose one of these tortures, drowning or listening to Rebecca Black." The POW chose Rebecca Black, for even though he disliked her music, it was much better than getting drowned

What did john say to bob Hey bob

Penis!

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

A baby seal walks into a club.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

Obamacare

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

White NBA players.

What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

What is 6 plus 9? 15

Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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