How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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bob saget

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Justin Bieber

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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