whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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LIE

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Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

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What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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