What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down

Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

thumb_up thumb_down

What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression the other day.... It made me sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,477

Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops