what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down -27

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What sucks? A: Straws

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What sounds really bad? An accordion.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

24

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll dowScroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down! Scroll down, scroll down, scroll downScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! nScroll down, scroll down, scroll down!! I love you for sticking with me that whole time.... But your prize is..!!!! Nothing...absolutely nothing, hope you feel good Or you could buy yourself a pony because ponys are nice

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops