What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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