Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

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penis

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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I cant think of one (._. )

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Why did the little boy run away from Michael Jackson? Because he was scared

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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