How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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That's illegal What? Your mom

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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Where did the homeless man sleep? A rather nice hotel with fluffy pilloes

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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sharks

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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