Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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when debbie meets downer

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Your Mom

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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Two Irish men walks out of a bar

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What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

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Justin Bieber

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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My jeans

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What's the best rabbit for a black person?

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

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Pain Olympics.

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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