roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

thumb_up thumb_down +1

tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Me- hey hitler you lost soemthing. hitler- Vat? Me-world war two.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

thumb_up thumb_down -8

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

oh hi, i'm an idiot, i mean mitt romney

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops