If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

Whats worse than Justin Bieber's love life. My ass crack.

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

What's black, white and red all over and can't turn around in a corridor? A nun with a spear through her

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

Reverse psychology never fails.

lyren is a big meanyhead

What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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