a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Guess what? Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Three men are in prison and comparing crimes. The first says that he got three years and he never robbed that store. The second says he served six years and he never hit that lady. The third said he got life, and he killed every child in that orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +176

Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +12

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +2

im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

thumb_up thumb_down +5

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops