Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

TIMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -29

First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

penis. nuff said.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats your budget like? a budget.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops