I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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VAGINA.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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How come grilled cheese?

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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