Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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