What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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Why did Timmy drop his ball? Because he was hit by a bus. A) Knock knock? B) Who's there? C) Not Timmy

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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