How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Yo mamma's so fat it's a legitimate medical condition

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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Today i saw 2 midgets walking.........now there hanging together.....in a tree.....by there necks,,,,...............I f***n hate midgets

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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