It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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69

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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A man walks into a casino, and when he walks out his family has no home.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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Hey i just met u And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met u

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops