What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops