If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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what time is it rape time

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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