Knock Knock there's a doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar? A: I would make the slightly onerous journey to the local grocery establishment and pay my hard-earned money to procure a dessert which I quite enjoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

thumb_up thumb_down +2

haha.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If life throws you lemons Catch them

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you make someone laugh at a funeral? Laughing gas How do you make someone cry at a birthday party? Tear gas How do you make someone high at a wedding? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There are many ways to get high in a wedding. Gas is not the only option.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops