A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

Justin's life

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

Why was the lemon not feeling well? Because it had lemon aids.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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