Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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You all have Aids

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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You remind me of something. What? Summer Why because I'm hot? no because there is no class..

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

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2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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I Have a Black Friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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