Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

thumb_up thumb_down +3

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

thumb_up thumb_down +31

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

thumb_up thumb_down

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down

Will there be love in your future? Click the hand with the love-line that is closest to yours

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops