Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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CFL

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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