What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

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A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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