What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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my gramma died

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Two penguins were taking a bath. One said "pass the soap." The second penguin replied, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

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Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Why did the man rob a bank? Because he was poor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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