What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man walking on the side of a road? A Pedestrian

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I forgot what came after: Roses are Red Violets are Blue Too much anti jokes

thumb_up thumb_down

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and fast? A treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Good one...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jews for Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops