Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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hi

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? Nothing, they were the ones convicted of raping that white girl.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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When adolf hitler went to the chippy, He ordered a bock wurst. Later, he ate the whole thing and said he wants another.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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