How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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im not as random as you think I- Potato

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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Obama walks into a hospital....

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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