Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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learn the ropes?

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What's worse than a snake in your boot. A boot in your snake.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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women's rights

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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spell backwards: taco cat

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. The bartender says "Rough day, eh?" The man says "Yes, very rough." He then goes home and hangs himself.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops