How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Not the Twin Towers.

What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

what do you call someone who hates jews anti semitic

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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