A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +25

CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He proceeds to get intoxicated and then commits a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

To pen state administraters walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops