Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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Poop swing

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Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Why do blacks run away from whites? Because god told all people to never go to the light.

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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