What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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so how about that irline food

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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