*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -14

(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

wat did the farmer say to little lucy? I'm about to rape u, don't scream

thumb_up thumb_down -260

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's brown and sticky? Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops