Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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hi corey

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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