what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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My penis is big... not.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? D-12.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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beiber i straight

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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terry stockton is straight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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