Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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