- Anti Joke

When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

I hate you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

Yock

Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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