guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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canadians

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Some people devote their life to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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Q: What's not funny and has two wheels? A: The Holocuast, I lied about the wheels.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He then blows up the bar.

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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