why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

thumb_up thumb_down -14

refridgrator

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

SHUT UP JP

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

thumb_up thumb_down -10

This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops