Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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Check this web out www.hurr-durr.com

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops