A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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my egg roll

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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Mahmy

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

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What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

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why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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