What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

What did the famed say when he lost his tractor I lost my tractor!!!!

Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

live babies

What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

what do you call a cat that talks a talking cat

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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