Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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If a man has a gun, but no arms or legs, is he armed?

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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Women's rights.

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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You know what's the least funniest part about cancer? I am about to die in about a month or so.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops