Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

What two states don't have running water? Solid and gas

how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

what do u call a fat guy in a pool u

Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...