What causes floods? Too much water.

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

Get in the car.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

Agricultural production fell significantly.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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