Why did the bugger cross the rode? He was tired of getting picked on

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Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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http://logs.omegle.com/de4e4b0

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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Scumbag steve walks into his friend's dorm room, and finds out he has epilepsy. He then flicks the lights on and off really fast

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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A pope meets another one

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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