What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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69

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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Knock Knock! Come in!

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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I am on a escalator.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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