What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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Q. What did the gay kid say to his group of straights? A. 10 dollars to the first one to tip over that little asian boy on the bike.

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MC donald the duck loves Justin's Balls. And Daniel Ma loves fried chicken boiled with rice \Cupcake

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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