An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

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whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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My name is me I like fired chicken!

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Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Where did Ann go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Hi

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A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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What's the difference between a fine wine and a dead baby in a blender? One gets better as it ages, and the other is a horrific accident.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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why was the little boy sad? he found out that George Washington was dead.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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