Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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