Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

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What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I am homeless, Can I have some food?

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Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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