Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I couldnt remember who Rhiana used to date. Then it hit me.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops