How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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Q. What did the buddhist monk say to the hotdog vendor? A. "I'd like a hotdog, please."

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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Why did the Afircan child die? He had AIDS.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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