Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

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whats green can fly and has legs? a plane i lied about the legs

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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