Mmmmmmm Lemons

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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black

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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I hate long jokes -_-

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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