Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, penis.

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A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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A man is walking in a bar and then leaves once he gets his drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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