What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is moral man a great Cerebrity? you would not get it, its too cerebral... Moral: I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE PLEAAAAAAAAAASE! BUAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

like a someboyyyyyyyyyyyy

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A. I have a really funny knock knock joke to tell you! You start. B. Knock knock A. Who's there? B. ....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is a terrible tragedy and wears ice skates? Holocaust; The musical on ice

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I'm banging your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops