How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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Q: What do you do when you see a half dead black guy on your front lawn? A: Call the ambulance because he is dying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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