Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

AND

Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

ekoj

An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

What's 6+2? 16

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

what's red and horny a red unicorn

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Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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