- Anti Joke

I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

what did the shark do when he died.....

Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

YOLO

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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