a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did jenny get 22 turnovers in a basketball game? because jenny has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the white guy the black guy and the Asian all have in common Penises

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops