What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Justin Bieber having an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Period Blood

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

batman farted so hes retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do snozberries taste like? Lama

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Goat balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops