Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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Hey, Max!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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