noodles

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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HEy Hey Hey! Lakers are so going to bounce back!

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at rhyming Refridgerator

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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