The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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a man walks into a bar he got hurt

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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