There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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