How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down

Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

thumb_up thumb_down +1

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -179

What do you do if you see a bleeding Mexican in your front yard? Quickly respond to the accident and supply the wounded victim with first aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happens when you choke a smurf? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +797

Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops