Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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What's 9 + 10 19

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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you are driving down the highway, if two birds make a bee then how many pies can fly at once? None because I can't read

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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