A comedian walks onto the stage. Antehumor.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

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In Soviet Russia, life was very hard due to the failing economy and oppressive government.

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What did the two eggs in the frying pan say to each other? Nothing, their eggs.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Why do black men smell like horse poo? Because they showe horse shit in stables.

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What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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What did the sign say at Disney World? Disney World.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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