Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

Vicky is my best friend.

what does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? ouch

A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

Cripples are lame.

What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: Newton's Law dictates that they would hit the ground at the same time.

So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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