I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying what's repetitive and really annoying

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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I think everybody ought to have a penis.

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

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What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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