how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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