You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Whats Better Than an Anti Joke? sex...

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Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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