What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are white people white? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a man walked into a bar "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What was a hard time for people? the great depression

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

It got hit by a rocket.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

ure mama's so fat

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

thumb_up thumb_down -40

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops