Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Rock mattress.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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^ That's not even funny ^

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the WNBA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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banana

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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