Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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Yo mom as so dumb.... That she has a low IQ

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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Why did the CEO step down? Because he was very ill and could no longer meet his duties and expectations as Pear’s CEO.

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

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Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess. They married as was the social custom of the time, and produced a series of children whose purpose was to sustain the royal bloodline for many years to come. AF

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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