What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

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There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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