An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down

._____________________. Whale!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What number comes after 29? 30.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to get away from KFC, which was directly behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Oh, I must be hearing things.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops