- Anti Joke

How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.. That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone…The man requests the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,…. ….silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.” The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight…. ….But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Obama

Roses are red violets are blue suck my and I'll you too

What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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