how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

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What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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