What did the African say when he had diarrhea? "I wish I had access to clean water and basic amenities."

Why did the man fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 magnum and murdered her violently.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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