My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I drive a 'rarri

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You wanna know what sucks about your face? . . Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

womans rights

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -37

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops