Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the black man eat lunch? Because his lunch asked him not to eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Lol you respond here goood one AAANDEEERS TEN MG PER PILL Asswhipe! Besides friends call me Black Metal, you can call me Nero the avenger. Line kinda broke up with you first, you think she would send you a picture with my finger on her... cough... AND THINK YOU WOULD STILL STIck aROUND WITH HER? Id be more... well glad for your mothers sake, btw, she got me flowers, I wont tell the rest, but she got me another pic... Okay ill tell the rest then, first pic is my fingas, the other is my limpo in her mouth... The third is the funny doctor which caught us and wanted all three of us to be on the pic... Aww, no really man, you had a gem, we where good friends before me and Line, but she did not want to leave before she got me flowers... Aww... Ooooh... Oh! Well not yet but you get the picutre. I got ur message, sure im high as a kite, but I know what im doing if you can "picture" what I mean... Dont tell your mom btw, I want to surprise her, (reverse psychology) hmm, that did I write that? Anyway, how is your sister doing? I dont think she gives those strangely long hugs to anyone but me, and she laughed wen i got a boner... NERO, never call me, never ever call Me black, besides its either Mr.Black, oor black metla you rat! VALIUM? SERIOUSLY? Ill get that test extended you know... Because POISONING!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops