Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Water? I hardly know her.

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Like this joke, bitch.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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