What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

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What happens if u call a black kid names? He tells an adult and u get in trouble

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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What's red, white, and blue? light purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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