I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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