A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did bobby fall of the swing? He had no arms -Knock knock -Who's there? -Bobby -But how? -I knocked with my diick -Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the right wing jew say after he was arrested for murder? bt we went through the holocust

thumb_up thumb_down -41

1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops