What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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CFL

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Wanker

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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