What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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roses are gray violets are gray everything's gray I'm a #$%ing dog

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Knock Knock CUM IN!

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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