What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

A Man Walks Into A Bar. He's Immediately Rushed To The Hospital.

Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

Whats brown and smells like poo?? Poo

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

What did Mulan say to Pocohantas? Nothing as they are nothing but fictional creation of the childish (yet genius); minds of the Disney corporation. Although if they were capable of empathy (which isn't likely) then they would still, say nothing, as they are from two completely different movies.

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

penis that is all

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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