what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a retarded black man? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue i'll be back in an hour or two

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call a prostitute with AIDS? Most likely her first name, unless of course you know her and it is normal for you to refer to her by a nickname or some shorter version of her proper first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops