Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Women

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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