A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Welcome to die!

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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antijoke is the best website.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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