what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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A Fat Kenyan

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

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NASCAR

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Invisible Television.

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

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No, Trinidad.

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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