Oh, I must be hearing things.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

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What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Knock knock --Come in.

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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