Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Ahhh! Grandpa your going too hard!

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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