Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

Suzie has no arms. Knock Knock (whos there?) Not Suzie.

What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

Why did the Jewish boy grab his groin? Because he was just circumcised.

Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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