Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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A walrus walks into a bar

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Roses are red, Bacon is red, Poems are hard, Bacon

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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UNICORNZ R PURPUL

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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