Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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Urban ghettos

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

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Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

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u suck

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

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roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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