What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. They both died at the same time in a horrible shipwreck. There were no survivors.

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Got milk? No.

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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Why couldn't the moose find a good hotel for the night? A moose wouldn't have any currency available and quite frankly, no one would let him in.

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist!

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Dylan is gay

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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fi uoy nac daer siht sdrawkcab uoy tsuj daer siht sdrawkcab

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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i saw a garbage truck it had garbage in it

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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