A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

lol

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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