What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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feminism

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

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numbers just make the funniest antijokes

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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NEVER

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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