How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

This one time, at band camp we played in a band

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? 10 dead trashcans in 1 baby

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There once was a man in Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He awoke with a fright In the middle of the night To find that someone was breaking into his house

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Guess what. Chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops