whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a big dick, Lets have sex.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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your mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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