Your moma's so fat, she's got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Looks through the peephole.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

thumb_up thumb_down +41

a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +64

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

your face

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops