I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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