Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jews for Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Terry is at his job, when he drops his cookie on the floor. His coworker accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his coworker. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. Turns out Terry is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +379

What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do u call a cripple Biv

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops