Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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Why was the little boy crying? Well first off he is adopted. He then woke up and found out his pop star dad is dead. ..... His name is blinket.

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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Tall asians

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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