Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

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you are black i am black except for your big hairy ass

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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Every 20 seconds, a child in africa starves to death... Every 30 seconds, an obese american teen stuffs their face with McDonalds

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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