What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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what does rhinoceros and tomato have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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What did the boy do when he ran out of Pringles? He killed himself.

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Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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