Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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