a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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