Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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I was once a hamster.

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How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?????

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What's brown and sticky? Caramel.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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knock, knock come in

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

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Your big dick.

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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