Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Three gay men walk into a bar and there is only one three-legged stool. What do they do? --One man politely tells one of the other men to have a seat and then the two remaining men leave and have a one-night stand.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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