Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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