What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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Your mother is average.

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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womens rights.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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