What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

thumb_up thumb_down +20

vaginas

thumb_up thumb_down +32

fack me in the ace! CC

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Good to see you today!

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops