How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Did you hear about the new brand of shovel? Yeah, it's pretty groundbreaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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