"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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Think about it: Is mexico REALLY full of: Lowrides in candy ass sparkly colors such as lip red that bounce, (manly color right? Yeah sure baggot) which contains a whole street war gang of members inside and at least twenty tons of COCAINA! ...But does not have a horn that plays "la cucaracha" Seriously, you say yes right? Hey look at this guy he said yes everybody, but ITS WROOOOOOONG CUCARACHA OR GTFO OF MEXICO! Yeah... Because Mexico is shit, id would be racist if Mexicans didn't agree...

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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Justin Bieber's mother.

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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the WNBA

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What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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