Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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A man walks into a vagina

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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What's big and long? My dick.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? .

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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