What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

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well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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pineapples

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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Sometimes i'm hungry.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Derp

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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