Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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Why are black people black? They're not. They're brown you idiot.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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Remember when the whole country was sad because Marget Thatcher died? No, me neither.

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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