I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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a mexican, an asian and a black are all in a car, who's the driver? their friend bill who offered to take them to the upcoming three days grace concert.

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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A jew walks in the german bar, the jew is captured tortured, raped, and shot along with his entire family

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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