When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

How do you make Justin Bieber handsome? He already is!

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

Poker? I barely even know her.

Quick ladies take off all your clothes the cloth stealer is coming Oh yyyaaaa

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

penis

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

When life gives you lemmons Give lemmons Life

Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

steven hawking walks into a bar

What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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