Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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How many blonds douse it take to change a light bulb I dont know it hasn't happened yet

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This is not a joke

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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Why did the black person cross the road? Because the street light turned green

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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Black Friday

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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