Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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What's the best part about seventeen-year-olds? There's seven of them.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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