What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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Women's rights

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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Why is 16 scared of 17? Because 17, 18, 19 *crickets*

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Ask me if I like pie. Do you like pie? OF COURSE!!!!!

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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