How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the difference between ian bothom and david gower? shredded wheat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

thumb_up thumb_down -12

smug face >:}

thumb_up thumb_down -185

Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops