Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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