A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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Christians

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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24

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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