A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

You remind me of something. What? Summer Why because I'm hot? no because there is no class..

Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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