What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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Why does everyone hate on justin beiber cause its easy

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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