Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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agp

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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guess what what? nothing.

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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