what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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if life gives u lemons....chuck them back and say u wanted muffins instead!!!!!!!!!!!

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Girl: Want to stay over at mine tonight? Guy: Yeah I'd love to! Girl: Tough, you can't

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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