Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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I love pissing people off :P

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These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?... because he was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Which is correct grammar: 'I hasn't a penis got' or 'I doesn't a penis has'? Answer: They're both wrong.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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