Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did Delaware? A coat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue S*** is brown and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I like boys!!!!! CC

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's 9+10 Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man runs over a woman...... Who's fault is it? The man's. He shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +175

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops