Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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A man was caught cross dressing by his wife. She divorced him.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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hi my name is matt mckeon and i like renata saggy tits !!!!!

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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what do call a dead dog in between two planks of wood? big sandwhich.

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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