You are the third derivative of the position function.

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

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Agent 47.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

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Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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