Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away."

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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this is gay

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Elizabeth Warren

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Knock knock who's there? Screw this Screw this who? Im screwing this like ur boyfriend screwed you!

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Women's rights

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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