What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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What's worst than your favorite football team losing the football? Giving birth to a stillborn child.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Q. How do you know when an asian has robbed your house?? A. Like any other thief, most of your expensive belongings will be gone it depends on duration of robbing and their morality

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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hi

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Bitch

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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