How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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why did the panda go to the store? to buy milk.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

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What did the man from Hiroshima see when he looked up at the sky on August 6th, 1945? Some birds.

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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