What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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