A muslim and a jew meet each other in a dark ally...... they give each other strange looks because they are both in a dark ally.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

thumb_up thumb_down

What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody actually knows this because the chicken could not tell us why he/she crossed the road so it would be nearly impossible to get the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops