what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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wanna here an anti joke scroll down

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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What's The Difference Between A Refridgerator And The Holocaust ? Not Much.

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

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What's the main difference between dogs and children? When children reach their teen years they grow up and leave home. When dogs reach their teen years they die of old age.

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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