why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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And the winner of Miss America 2050 is... Britney Spears!

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Knock! Knock! Whose there? Chris Chris who? (There was never a response. Leaving the man to wonder who Chris was... Was it his high school buddy Chris? His former colleague? That guy who filled his propane tank down at the gas station? Was that guy's name even Chris-or was it Craig? Craig, it was definitely Craig.)

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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What's the difference between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of bricks in my basement.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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