You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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What do you get when you mix a ginger with gasoline? a forest fire.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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Roses are Verbotten Violets are Verbotten Anti-jokes is Verbotten Everything is Verbotten boats aren't Verbotten

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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