Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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010011100110100101100011011001010010000001110100011100100111100100101100001000000110001001110101011101000010000001110100011010000110010100100000011010100110111101101011011001010010000001101001011100110010000001110011011011110110110101100101011101110110100001100101011100100110010100100000011001010110110001110011011001012

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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