how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to one tree? Nailed to 10 trees

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Q: What do you call a pakistani that practices medice? A: Doctor

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops