Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do u call a hobo name Max Max

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the white comedian get booed off stage? Because his jokes were humorless and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Autism speaks but not really

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Skinny people fart less.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +20

nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black guy surrounded by a gang of white guys? I don't know, maybe if you asked him his name you would find out.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I love Ciara!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops