When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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the NAACP

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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Are you Drew?

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? The are both of the kingdom Animalia, possessing many organ systems and cellular similarities. And they both live underground. Except for the Eagle.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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