SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

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A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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The WPGA tour

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What's black and full of coke? a bottle of coca-cola

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Why was the black guy so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

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I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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