A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

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What is a dog? Bark

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

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snowglobe

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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This joke is the worst joke ever.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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