A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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Wanna hear a joke womens rights

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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What did Bear Grylls say to the dead whale? Mmmm.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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A duck and a chicken walk into a bar. How improbable.

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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