Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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