Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -69

1 what do gay horses eat? 2 hayyyy 1 no horse dick

thumb_up thumb_down -4

have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Tall asians

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +38

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q. What's worse than 400 babies going down the road at 80 miles per hours in a garbage truck? A. The same babies being dumped into a trash compactor

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what do you call obama a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mama's so fat, that she's fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops