What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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96

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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Hello

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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Women's rights.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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hi will

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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dont you love porch monkeys? no.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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Double rainbow? What does it mean? Well, a "double rainbow" is a phenomenon of optics that displays a spectrum of light due to the sun shining on droplets of moisture in the atmosphere. Does that explain it?

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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