Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

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What is big, white, and hurts when it falls from the sky? A FRIDGE

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Justin Bieber

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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a jerk that i knew was in a bar. he was about to drive home. at first i tried to stop him until he was sober. instead he punched me in the face. then i dared him to drive home as fast as possible. he died that night... i texted him all the way...

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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