Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I went to the store and I fell

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops