why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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who else is on here?

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

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terry stockton is straight

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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