roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A jew go out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

option 1, minecraft VS option 2, friends

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops