One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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bangers and mash?

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Hi. Hello. I live in Iowa. Same. Im your neighbor. Same. I like corn. Same. Im gay. Same. HAHAHAHAHAHA gotcha! No i really am gay and the fact that you thought that was funny saddens me deeply.

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has Stevie

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Things that have changed since I was a kid. Turtles: My time, awesome. Today: Shredder is a human which is not a human but actually a Krang, but his daughter which is not his daughter because he is a freaking krang, has a sex thing for Leonardo which is a turtle (the blue one, whatever his name is). Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: My time? Well it was awesome back then, fine I admit it, I might have been a bit biased but still, I enjoyed the hell out of it, there where five rangers and yeah that Asian bitch that gave me a boner as a kid made a green one which she giftwrapped to the rest of the team, then some white ranger showed up... But I never watched anything with the white guy, I had lots interest years ago by then (Still play that fighting game for the Snes and thats why I know there is a fucking white ranger... And deathbattle okay) Today: Power Rangers Neon, Power Rangers Tetris, Power Rangers Ultra Power, Power Rangers Sexfighters, Power Rangers Nazi, Power Rangers Texas Rangers, Power Rangers Color, Power Rangers Multiforce Orbital Neo Neon.... And thats just like 03 percent of the variants right? Moral: As a kid we always had a lol when the Asian chick turned into Yellow ranger and did a split kick, which kinda revealed she had a massive dick between her legs... Later we understood that she was a he and that the Ranger Segments are recorded in Japan... Probably by a Hermafrodite... Nah, a guy fine. Oh, and we always lolled at how "gay" the original blue ranger acted he was supposed to be Nerd but I was like eight and was like "lol he just seems gay"... Just for it to turn out that he quit the series because supposedly the rest of the actors mocked him for being gay, Wow thats... Weird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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