A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

canadians

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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