If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Ten minutes later we're enjoying delicious muffins together.

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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I going to the kitchen to make a #sandwich.....oh wait this isn't twitter

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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why did the clown go to the hospital? i hit him in the leg with an axe.

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

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lybia

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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