Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's green, fuzzy, and would likely cause fatal harm if it were to fall on someone? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops