Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What did the Momma Kangaroo say when she couldnt find her baby?

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

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PENIS that is all

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Q: Whats blue and white and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A: A tree wearing a denim jacket.

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Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops