what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Jackson's dad told him to "play in the traffic".

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Why are bacon and eggs good. Because Toasters are silver

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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7

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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