A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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Asians look like they have down syndrome.

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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How do you get Pikachu on a Bus? Pikachu Is A Fictional Charecter.

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels in your presence? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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