Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

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who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

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The person below me is weird.

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops