Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why John isn't smiling? Becouse he died yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A White guy, Black guy and Hispanic are all on the same bus. They get off at their predetermined stops and continue their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops