Once upon a time there was a boy standing up. Then he sat down.

thumb_up thumb_down +436

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is a vampire's favourite dessert? Vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,370

Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than failing your english test? Contracting HIV

thumb_up thumb_down +439

Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A miserable man committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did michael jackson write black or white he didnt want black people to copy him

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there? A pedofile, get in the van Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why does matt daly get confused for? A Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops