If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is long black and smelly the welfare line

thumb_up thumb_down -20

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? T get to the other side of the road

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a woman on a bike? A dike

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops