How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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What did God say to the crying man? God doesn't exist.

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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Why was the 45 year old man crying? He shit his pants.

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A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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