Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

Roses are Razzmatazz Violets are Arsenic These colors are weird Cancer.

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...