What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Q:Why Did the Black people die in there car A: They were Homeless

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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