Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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Society.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Two giant paint bubbles!

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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What do you call 6 white men on a bench? The NBA

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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