What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mother just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +7

im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mums a penis joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the plane crash? because there were two towers in front of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are c0ck violets are vag this joke is for george i like it like that<3xxxx

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a group of white guys playing basketball in Philadelphia? Actually, that already seems like a pretty good summary of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

One night, I walked into a bar. I ordered a few drinks, and left later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops