- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

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why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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What do you say to a woman in the kitchen? Cook me some food.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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