What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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ASSCHEEKS

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops