Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Winking at old people

thumb_up thumb_down -46

"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

25

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops