What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Paki? Nothing, they're both as bad as each other.

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WHat is worse then Fred singing and cumy condom

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

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What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

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Jose gutierrez is a gay fish.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops