Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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brittney griner

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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If life gives you lemonade.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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poop

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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