What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo with a sheep? A: That would be impossible for it is impossible to breed a kangaroo and a sheep due to their difference in genetic material and number of chromosomes

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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Two planes walk into an office building

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Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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