What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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Women's professional sports

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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