Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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Yo mamas so fat she's over weight

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Where did Lucy go went the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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sucks Syntax...

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

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Womens rights

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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