Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Why do those Indian people have that dot on their forehead ? Idk but it makes a good target.

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they're dead. idiot.

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

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Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

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There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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