How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tied to the first monkey.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

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awkies when u see danni white fingering jacob :0;0;0;0, and jamie fingering himself..............

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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