Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Why are elephants ears sooo big? The big ears are to help the elephants stay cool. Elephants don't sweat, so they have a hard time dissipating excess heat (keeping cool). Their large ears contain many blood vessels that allow heat to escape into the air. When you see elephants they are usually moving their ears back and forth. This fanning helps to dissipate more heat than if their ears remained still. The enormous ears of elephants act as cooling devices. The gigantic earflaps (which can measure up to 2 square metres (21.5 square feet) are equipped with an intricate web of blood vessels. When the animal flaps its ears, the blood temperature lowers by as much as 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). To keep cool

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What flys? A fly

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops