What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...