- Anti Joke

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature.

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

Rock mattress.

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you ABeepSSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! slams door Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

hi

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

make me a sandwich!

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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