If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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The situation... Two black men are skiing down the Sahara. The Question... How much syrup does it take to kill a life-guard. The answer... The sunglasses because he never be a porcupine.

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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What do you do if a black man throws a gernade at you? You take the pin out, and throw it back.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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