Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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