A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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How do u stop sky from being gay. You don't

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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