What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Have you heard the joke that they don't tell retarded people? You haven't? Well then alright let me tell you because it's actually quite amusing.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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How do you get Pikachu on a Bus? Pikachu Is A Fictional Charecter.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Cripples are lame.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Tony Romo

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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