what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

Who's Juan? DIS ONE

why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Wheelchair high jump

Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

George W. Bush

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

Why did the boy jizz?...........he was getting a blowjob!!!

What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

how do you make a cow float Give it 10000 balloons

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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