why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy engage in oral sex with the other boy. He was a hormonal homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

thumb_up thumb_down

How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite joke? A. Nothing, because he cant hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops