What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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time to spruce up!

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What's the main difference between an angry white man and an angry black man? The angry black man is probably of African descent.

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Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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Knock knock. Come in.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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