why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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If you see a pink banana, you are color blind.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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DANA

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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Black Veil Brides.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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