A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

Tilt your screen back

ur an fagit

How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

Canadians

You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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