what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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I AM YOUR SALVATION! And you are my poopstain

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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knock knock who's th...AIDS.....

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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