How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Roses are gray violets are gray everything is gray because I'm color blind.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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a black guy leaves prison

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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