Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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Good.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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What do you call a dumb Asian? An Asian who lacks education.

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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