Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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Do u know what would be a big pain in the ass? A thorn

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What did the creepy old man do to the child? Took him to baseball practice

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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