Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Q:So there's a black guy and a mexican sitting in a car...who's driving? A: The Cop

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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I once met a man named Steve. I said, "Hello."

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Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

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A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

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A woman walks into a bar and hits it off beautifully with the young man sitting close to her. They exchange numbers, and even a small kiss before she departs. He follows her home and eats her.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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this website...

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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roses are blue, violets are unicorns, this poem doesnt make any sense. refrigerator

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24

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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i like potatoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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