What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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TIMMY

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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Q: why are black people so much darker than white people? A: genetics.

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Kys

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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