Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

How high is the sky? True or False

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...