Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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hahaha

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

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Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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