Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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You're mum is so fat, she has low self-esteem

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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