Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Womens Rights

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what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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