"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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Why did the man burn all the children? He was a psychopath.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

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no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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