A chicken walks into a barn.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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what do you call 10 mexicans standing in a line? It's probably a lunch line for a taco vendor. And even this is just a coincidence. Everybody loves tacos.

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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A drunken man grabbed a gun and shot his entire family to death. Luckily, a even drunker man had shot them moments before, so it really only served to ruin the perfectly good wall behind them with bullet holes.

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

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what happens every day? People die

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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