What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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retard

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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What Do you say to an atheist after he sneezes? Bless you. Its just polite

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken just lost his job and has entered into a deep depression. He was going to commit suicide at the local KFC, but as he walked into the KFC, he saw a beautiful woman. They lived a full and happy life together until the chicken died of old age. Turns out the woman was blind, and partially deaf.

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I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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