What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

Knock, knock! Who's there?! Your Mom! Your Mom who? No really. Let me in.

why did you poop because you are a poop

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call a person who kills a black? A black man

You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

The Labour Party.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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