2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops