A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

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If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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An English man walks into a pub.

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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Why did the toast land butter side down. The devil visited earth that day and therefore everything that could go wrong did.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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