Knock knock. Who's there?

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Walking.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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