What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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i'm hard

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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What's the difference between anti jokes and Charlie Sheen? Nothing. Their both stupid

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken -A black guy being black

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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