Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Knock knock Shut up

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Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for grapes. The bartender explains to the duck that he does not sell grapes. Later that day, the bartender recounts the story to a friend; the friend advises the bartender to undergo psychological testing.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Q: What happens when two feminists try to chanbe a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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