In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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How do you stop a black kid from hanging around in your back yard? Hang him in the front yard.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The owner of the horse then explains the evolution of the species and genetics. The bartender, satisfied, serves the owner a drink and gladly gives the horse water.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got two fingers just for you/by kw

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What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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A priest, an iman, a rabbi, a bishop and a Dalai Lama walk into a bar. Because they were of different faiths, racial slurs were thrown back and forth until they all left. They spent the rest of the night and most of the following day unhappy.

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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