What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue when I saw you what the heel are you

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

thumb_up thumb_down -4

KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops