What's worse than a spider bite? Two spider bites. What's worse than two spider bites? The fact that 1/3 of people get cancer. What's worse than that? Three spider bites.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

What do you call a lubia chin jew slave?

What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

Why did the black person got to Wal-mart? Wal-mart has relatively low prices

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

what did chloe say to alexis? you took my phone

What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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