What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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Whats pink red and silver? A baby chewing on reason blades. Whats pink red silver and smells bad? Same baby two weeks later.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a gassing chamber and you are a jew

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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They see me rollin' They hatin' Patrolin they try to catch write a joke Try to catch me write a joke Try to catch me write a joke (tootle loo, I see you ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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