A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Why does a black person buy water? Because everyone needs water to survive SKH RZH

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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Why did the black man die? Because he fell off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops