HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

live babies

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I just threw up..In my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops