How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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What black and has children A black man

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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