What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he's stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops