haha

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- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

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I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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why did the black man sit in the back of the bus? becouse all the seat where taken in the front

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

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Swiggity Swooty. I'm currently in pursuit for that part of your body people refer to as "booty".

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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