What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Life is an elephant, get married.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did two Jews react when they saw a quarter on the sidewalk? They agreed to donate it to charity.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops