Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

who ate all the food in zimbabwe? Nick bigg.. he later died of cancer and aids

why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

why did the chicken cross the road? -----it didnt

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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