Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Where do babies come from? My garage

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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Replacement Referees

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YOLO

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Why did the blond girl get fired from the M&M Factory. Becouse she removed all the W's

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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And then i said what about breakfast at tiffanies, and then you said i hate that movie.

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Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

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Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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