A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

Your so stupid, that your stupid.

what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

what do you call a cup?... a cup

whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

Q. What happened when a mouse ran up the clock and it struck 12? A. It fell off and got raped by an 80 year old Asian lady with breast cancer

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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