Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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I was walking down the street then my hands were itchy so I stuck em in my pockets Jk, I'm a donkey. We don't have hands

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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