What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What kind of blue is not heavy? Light blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hi Shelby!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops