Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in a French bathroom? Imprisonment up to 15 years in an international detainment facility.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Cajuns love drinking And drowning too

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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