What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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What's 6+2? 16

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Q

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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