Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Whats funnier than 24, 69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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