Knock, knock -The door's open.

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Whats Black and White all Over? Ask Your Mother

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What does water smell like? water.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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Whats the difference between a Black man and a White man Skin color and possibly many other things because that is reasonable and normal.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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