A spanish comedian walked into a bar. He was on time for his act.

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how do you punish hellen keller? you can't she's dead

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Keanu Reaves

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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Hi

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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