How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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here is a good joke... your moms a bitch END OF STORY!

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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