your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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I wonder if God looks at the Earth all these years later and thinks, Man, I really went overboard with the water, didn't I?

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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Do you play piano? No

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Why did the boy have sex with his grandpa? His grandpa is a nice guy and it was his birthday.

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Why couldn't the colorblind boy play Twister with his friends? He was a quadriplegic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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