- Anti Joke

How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

Women's rights.

what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

When I walk in the rain, I get wet

Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

I love you

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

hi

why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... __/\_/\_/\_________________

What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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