Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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