Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where can you find the best black man soup? I don't know. Cannibilism is no longer socially acceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

thumb_up thumb_down +7

where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than farting in a silent class room? Denying it and farting a second time.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Banana(s)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +40

mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops