Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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Why did Osama bin Laden cross the road? To get shot in the face.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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whats white and looks like paper paper

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Q.whats the differecne between a bicycle? A. orange,...a vest dont got no sleeves.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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mental kid

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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