Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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a Polar bear in an Igloo.

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how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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I dont usually get jokes, but when i do I get them.

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Explain the term 'Standard of Living'? Not having sex with diseased and obese women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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