OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was 7 afraid of 6? Because 6 accused him of cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Holocaust jokes aren't funny

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops