whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

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A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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Why was the boy considered a bitch? His name was Jason Jubin

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

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Why has the suicide in dentists decreased? -Due to the fact that being a dentist makes suicide redundant!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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