A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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they say that cancer can't pass but why do three our your uncles have it

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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whats 2+2? 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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