Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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My peni s

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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