Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What is white and black and red all over.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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Ben Affleck

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whats the difference between ur mom and my mom? nothing i slept with both of them

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I forgot what i was gonna say

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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