hey i just meet you and this is crazy but i picked out our wedding cake and named our 4 future children :-)))))))

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What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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is your refrigerator running? yeah oh, ok. just making sure your food doesn't spoil

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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