How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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boo

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? I don't know but it's not the little girl.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

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Why did 6 hook up with 7 ?

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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That's a rhetorical question chickens don't cross roads!

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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