What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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what does a gorilla do when it sleeps. it snores.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops