How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

Tina: Mom, would you love me if I was straight Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was gay Mom: Yes Tina: Would you love me if I was Bi Mom: No Tina: Why not Mom: Because that's selfish!

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

Fags are gay.

What's the worst way to die? Alone.

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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