A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

dassa

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

rent a cops

thumb_up thumb_down -11

two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops