Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

Canada's army

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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