Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse then getting caught in the rain with no umbrella? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a sackful of dead babies? one is a car and the other is a grotesque travesty.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +125

Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops