A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

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Boy: Dad, come here I need to tell you something. Dad: What? Boy: My name is Jeff. Dad: *Grabs shotgun* " I've had with that damn term"

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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