Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Why so serious ?

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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barack osama

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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