A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

thumb_up thumb_down +8

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

thumb_up thumb_down

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops