Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm sorry sally your grandmother is dead. LOL _ grandpa Laugh out loud!. I can't belive you. I thought it meant lots of love Grandpa-ha funny mistake though right?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

tuna fish dolphins sharks idk

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A mans opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

thumb_up thumb_down -3

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops