Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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