roses are black violets are black im blind

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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How do you kill an american? You shoot them

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What's the difference between a bird and a fish ? They're both different, except the fish.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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A seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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