It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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