A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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have you seen Britney Spears lately? no. i wouldn't expect you to since she is a pop sensation and you are just a regular person trying to find your way in this world

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Penis

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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