your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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;aosughdfo

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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