Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet up with his friend that was on the other side.

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

i fondle myself every night....

What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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