What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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