Knock knock Who's there My dick

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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Did you hear about the couple that met in a revolving door? They died.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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