How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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what do a midget and a dwarf have in common? they both die by the age of 25 due to genetic failures.

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"Knock knock." "No."

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and have a wonderful time at what many people believe to be the most magical place on Earth.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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your all shit at jokes

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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