why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Simon says.. Nothing because he is deaf, so therefor he would have to sign it to you.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. wait wut are u a bitch Violet are not freakin blue its Purple

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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