What did one duck say to the other duck? Nothing, ducks cannot talk.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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What do you call a handyman with no arms? By his name.

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What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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What was the pirate's favorite letter W

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops