Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Doug.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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I man walks into a bar. He got drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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