Why didn't the girl make the basketball team? She has no arms or legs.

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What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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why did the ginger get made fun of? because he had red hair

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You all have Aids

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#Hanging Degus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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