why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.

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why didn't your dog come home last cause he died

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Why can't vampires go out in the sun? Becuase they don't exist.

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What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

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what goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz? baby twins in an acid bath.

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Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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