What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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What's the similarity between a plum and an elephant? Both are purple, except for the elephant.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

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knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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