- Anti Joke

Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

What is my name? I dont know

why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

Q:What do you find in the middle of a pile of dead babies? A:Another dead baby!

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

so... how about that airplane food

every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

What just hit my face? The floor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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