why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what happen when you put 2 black persons on a blender You ask your self.. will it blend?

thumb_up thumb_down -949

B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops