What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Blah blah something about Ryan Dunn.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

thumb_up thumb_down

A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

thumb_up thumb_down -150

Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Arrow in the Knee!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down

Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops