a black man a chinese man and a mexican man are all on a plane. they land safely and continue with their lives.

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why did the boy fall back wards? he was shot dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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