Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

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You know what they say about big shoes? Big socks. You know what they say about big socks? Big feet. You know what they say about big feet? Big hands. You know what they say about big hands? Cancer.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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i killed my family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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