Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? Jelly is made from the juice of the fruit while jam is made from the pulp of the fruit.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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A man walks into a bar. Wait, no, it was a horse. A man walks into a horse

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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squirrels with massive bonerss

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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