What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like cows, Cows are cool

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin get in the car.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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hey you like pizza? whatever...

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A man is sitting on a bench in a park crying a man walking by asks why he's crying, and the man answers that he has no idea why he's crying

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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planking.

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what is pink stinky? your butthole lol

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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