Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

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Peas and Corn. Porn., a deer

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food before? No? Well neither have they.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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Mitch

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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