A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy has enough money to buy an xbox and a game, but when he reaches the store he is no longer able to buy an xbox and a game, how is this possible? He didnt really have enough money to buy an xbox and a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

haha

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops