What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

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what did the women say when she found out that superman was clark kent. i know that you are superman clark kent.

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Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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Laugh.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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What is the best part about being in bed with twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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