What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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I will slap myself once for every like this joke gets!

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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whats 2+2? 1

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So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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lol a man is drowning

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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