What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So these two girls have a cup .

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a toaster, the shopkeeper tells her that they do not serve blondes. She sues for discrimination and receives a considerable cash settlement while the shopkeeper looses his store and reluctantly works at a fast food franchise.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Women. One of the genders a human can be.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma is so stupid that the only test she passed was the mental retardation test.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops