Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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Knock Knock Whos there? I dunno I didnt answer the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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