Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know what's cool? Yep.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red. violets are violet...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops