Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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epic win?

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS!!!!

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Me Neither.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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. . I am a whale

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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