I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

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what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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