A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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clamidia

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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gay marriage.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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