what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree Because the post man threw a fridge at it

Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

Chad Wolbert is retarded.

What is an old ginger lady's favorite type of bread? Whole wheat.

your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

I would write a joke, but it wouldn't be funny

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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