Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Mac, or Big Jim, as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has every day for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up next to his wife, whom was always giving off a potent and delightful smell. This happens because she has a certain shampoo that makes her much more pleasant-smelling than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be a nuisance because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He continues to lightly hit her with the pillow until she, in a delightful flurry of feathers, begins to strike back. After a fun and good-looking pillow fight, he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then wash his hands. After this, he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and is encouraged by his boss every day for his astonishing effort and is then threatened to be promoted if it improves any more by the end of the month. He is always being encouraged by his boss because he does as much as he can do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. He cares. But, at the end of the month he is never promoted because he threatens to take his boss's daughter out for ice cream - of whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. His boss found this quite creepy and inappropriate. Normally, someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but the police chief is too busy to join them for ice cream and the only detective in their small town moved away four months ago. This caused a problem because the ice cream was never disposed of since the only ice cream man died one day prior due to old age. He was 79 at the time and well-loved by the community. After work, Big Jim then went home and his wife hugged him with delight. After dinner with his wife, Big Jim went to bed and had a good night's sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Oh s***

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Casey Anthony kills a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There are a black guy and a Mexican in a car, who`s driving? The cops

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops