What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Asians

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who is mark

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

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Your mama's so stupid... She scored below average on a recent IQ test.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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The queen having a shit

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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We didnt star the fire ...........

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Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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