A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

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Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the gay guys house Knock knock Who is there The chicken!!!!!!

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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Obama.

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I tell an anti joke!.

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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Obama being reelected.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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