Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

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Why did the jews get off the bus? Because i threw a fridge at it

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock knock, Who's there? The cops, your parents are dead and now you are an orphan.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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