A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

I have no ideas.

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

Whats more worse than a dead baby? You shouldn't be thinking about dead babies or stuff worse than them, it is sad.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

I like school Said no one ever.

How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

Double-whammy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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