What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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I walked into temptation yesterday, He said hi.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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