Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Dont look at me.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

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1+2 = 6

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Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

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Women's rights.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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