how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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What's 6+2? 16

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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Buzi vagy!

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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