what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

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whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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