I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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I had my period 3 days ago.

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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