what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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pudding

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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once you go black your credit goes wack

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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