A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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Women's rights.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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A Dog walked into a bar and the bartenter said 'What can i get you' the dog dident say aneything cuz its a dog!!!!!

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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