Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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Who loves George Clooney? George Clooney

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

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Why did the black man order a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? His wife just died in a tragic car accident and he is a horrible cook.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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