A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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i committed murder

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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I'm HIV positive.

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someone called someone else a frog

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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