Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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What did the guy who had cancer get for Christmas? Death.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nothing. Earlier that day his vocal chords were ripped out by an angry chimpanzee. He will never speak again

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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gay rights

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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A horse walks into a bar and sits down on a stool. He orders a beer. He drinks his beer and leaves. Life continues on as it was.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Brock is a massive b00b who likes da siiiiiii

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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