what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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whats up and also down? your mum

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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children burning

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Strawberries!

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A tiger walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gets him a drink because he would rather not get vigorously consumed by a mighty beast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops