Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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If Africa had more mosquito nets, millions, MILLIONS of mosquitoes would die for hunger.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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