What do you call a Mexican without any arms or legs? A bean.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Nero, please cut the bull, I know you work for the feds, you are involved with the FBI, I know, but its not my problem, I just do not like you lying to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

1.Roses Are Gray, Violets Are Gray. I Am A Dog. Can I Eat Your Leg? 2.What Did The Sandwiches Say To The Grilled Cheese? Nothing. Sandwiches Can't Talk Due to The Lack Of Organs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daises are red, holy crap my garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hello Braydon

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 afraid of seven? Seven brutally abused and raped 6 as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops