what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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whats woorse then being stupid? kaelynn... aka big head

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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suck my dick.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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