Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What do you call a black guy in a prison? A warden. You racist.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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what did the catholic priest say to the boy?

god be with you.

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops