Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do u know that your obese ? People stare at you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops