Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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knock knock whos there jew jew who JEW YOU

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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