Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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Thanks

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops