A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

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What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

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Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Indians

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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