Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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There once was a man from peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he awoke with a fright in the middle of the night to find he had eaten the gel packets that came with them and died of cancer.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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A boy is eating with his family. A man in the next booth tells him "You are very handsome and you will be a movie star when you grow up." Then the man leaves. On the way out, the boy's mom says "You know he was drunk, right?"

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers don't have emotion.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

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Q: why did the plane crash? A: because jack daniels equals 7

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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