A duck flies to someone's backyard pool. Moments later it takes a dump , then suddenly flies away.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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dad; were is ur head son; its on my neck duh

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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