What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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One day, a Hippo was riding a scooter and an ant was sitting on the back seat. Suddenly they meet with an accident. They both fall from the scooter on their heads but only the hippo gets hurt. How??? Because the ant was wearing a helmet.

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If Jim lives in north carolina, what does that make his dad's brother? Black

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why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne-Frankly, I do nazi the point in them.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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