A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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No one walks into a bar The bar is slowly losing business and will soon be forclosed upon and will also lose his home as a result causing his family and himself to be homeless and slowly suffer on the streets

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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