Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

Golf.

Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

Then none of us want to be right.

I'm Andrew Schmitt

Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

what is big and white? the moon

what's worse than being hiv+? having full blown aids.

Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

Miss Hoolie: Hello, PC Plum. What's the story in Balamory? PC Plum: I'm arresting you for the sexual molestation of twenty children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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