KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two baby seals walk into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's black and white and red all over? A chess board; I lied about the "red all over" part.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock Who's there Your son and his vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I dont no the difference between their and there

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I was Writing and i broke my pencil

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops