Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

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Q: What do you call a white guy cooking a dinner? A: A chef

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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