What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Set up Punch line.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

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Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

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this is not a joke. jks

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How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

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What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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