patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +53

so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

thumb_up thumb_down

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How did the boy die? Because he got molested and raped by a pedophile!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops