A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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here kitty kitty

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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What is Worse than the holocaust?

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? Answer: A Pilot

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops