Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops