Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Pretty much everything, the killing of 6 million people was a horrible part of our world's history, and is no laughing matter.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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