my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? Hi, my name is Chris.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Guess who is violent. Osama

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Justin's hair

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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