What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw an eatable life form.

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Your mom

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What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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