Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

what is worse than joel an infested asshole

Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

What did the pc say to the Mac? You suck

A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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