how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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Why has the suicide in dentists decreased? -Due to the fact that being a dentist makes suicide redundant!

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Half koala, half walrus, behold...the Koalrus!

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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