What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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woman's rights

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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