Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Autism speaks but not really

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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