How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

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Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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hi iggy

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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Cancer.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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a child and his father were on a bike ride the child tried to cross a street but was run over by a truck. His father now lives homeless and griefs his dead son.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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