what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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YOU

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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