why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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Honk if you're Amish!

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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