Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

thumb_up thumb_down -25

69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A piolet you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -292

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops