I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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What's the difference between a terrorist and Bill Gates? One founded a successful software company, and the other commits mass murder of civilians for political gain.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Knock, Knock No one was home.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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