Wigan.

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Because you touch yourself.

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NEVER

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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