Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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Why did little Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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How do you make a Mexican parade? Contact members of the Latin community and inform them of your wish to organize a parade celebrating their heritage.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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