How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

What is the Modern Day slave trade? The nba

Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

Why Oscar lives with elephants in a zoo ? Because he's an elephant.

What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Whats circular and black? a black circle.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

Whats white and bad for your teeth? A refridgerator

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

Why did the vampire die? He had AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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