Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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a man checks his mypsace

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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