A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Whats the difference between a frog?

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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Two arabs fly into a bar.

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I got a joke for ya. George W. Bush was our president. He is a joke, but no one is laughing.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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Robin, get in the car!

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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