What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Oama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

elen degeneres is straight....

How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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