Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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LMFAO - "WE runnin' through these hoes like Drano?" Is that really what society has sunken to? Is this really what is accepted? Is this what we are jamming into children's moralities? Society is Screwed!

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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