when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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We are lawyers

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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I'm hungry.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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derp

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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