An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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24

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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(insert Anti-Joke here)

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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women outside of the kitchen

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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The Olympics

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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