Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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Asian women drivers...

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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what did the turkey say on thanks giving? Nothing, he's dead, we ate him!

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yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

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Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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