-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Atheism

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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Knock knock

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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