How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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Whats the difference between a horse and a pile of wheat? Its a pile of wheat.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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