a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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A black man, a white man, and a group of Jews were all walking down the street. They got hit by a bus.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Error 37.

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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david weres the slug gone

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God wrote this joke.................................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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