how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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An asian is driving a car. He observes the speed limit and uses his turning signals while switching lanes.

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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Why did the man starve to death? Because his wife died

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Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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why is a bad joke like a dull pencil? cuz thers no point!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs. Why couldn't she see? The sun was in her eyes.

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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