Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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A man walks around a bar.

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you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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what did the robot say to the black guy? I'LL BE BACK

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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