Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Justin Bieber

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

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You're on fire.

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- Helen Keller

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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Why were The Beatles so popular? People across the world enjoyed their music.

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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