What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is brown and sticky?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

69

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the fat kid stop the bus? He didn't...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops