What is 4 letters and made out of wood? Wood.

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go F*** yourself

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Why can't Ray Charles see? Because he's dead.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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This is a joke.

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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