What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, get out of the garden it's time for lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A guy trips a blind man.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

gay people

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops