apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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james schmitt whats your last name

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a shiny new Cadillac? I don't have a shiny new Cadillac in my garage.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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