Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops