What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

Q: What did the guy with glasses say to the guy without glasses? A: Dude your not wearing glasses.

Health food.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an ax.

a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

you and your family will die tonight

What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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