- Mother, where's my bread? - It's in the living room.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why'd the girl fall of her scooter? She fell into a hole and died. She was never found again. All that was left was her scooter.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black guy stop drinking his kool-aid? He learned of its high sugar content and began to drink a glass of water as a healthier option.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

thumb_up thumb_down +23

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Pickles

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Obama getting elected in 2012.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

derp

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Justin Beiber's Talent.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops