what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

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What is better than life? Nothing.

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What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

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Did you fall from heaven? Because I seem to notice fractures to your knee, spine and a possible permanent risk of poor posture.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fucking dead.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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