What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

thumb_up thumb_down

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then delivered by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

*knock knock "there's a door bell"

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops