Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from up there?" "Waaaaaaahhhhh..." "Ok, let me kiss it better."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo daddy!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why doesn't Micheal Jackson have orgasms? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +51

why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops