Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Womens rights

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. Everyone shoots her.

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What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

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What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"

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cats are pussies

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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