what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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refridgrator

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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Pain Olympics.

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() () () () () () () ------ *__________* yo can go %$*# yourself =~~ 0

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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69

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why is black people's skin darker? Africa

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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rose are red violets should be purple

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops