a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

Hey, come here often? No.

how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

WNBA

What's good? Anything that is not bad.

Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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