In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

penis

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

What happens when an Asian with a boner walks into a wall? He breaks his nose

jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

What is white and black and red all over.

A black man walks into a... nevermind, this joke is dumb.

What did the prisoner say to the other prisoner? I am going to anally rape you.

Yogurt? You are joking right? I am having yogurt right now, do you like see trough me or something? I mean I have been told people can do that but no way!

knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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