How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Hi Mum!!!!!!!!

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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