What do you call 2 Mexicans playing baseball? It depends on what the name of each individual is.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict? It didn't. It further exacerbated the problem. The Arab-Israeli Conflict is a multifaceted geopolitical quagmire based on long-simmering religious, ethnic and territorial tensions. A pig is too stupid to understand the root causes of the problem, let alone provide a viable solution. In retrospect, it seems ridiculous to have entrusted a pig with such an important diplomatic mission.

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On a scale of 1 to Osama Bin Laden, how good is your hiding spot? Rhetorical question. Osama Bin Laden is dead now.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Why doesn't the vampire like garlic? You have to exist to like garlic.

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If olive oil is made from olives and vegetable oil from vegetables, what is baby oil made of? Mineral Oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Acetate, Fragrance.

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there's a irishman, australian and and englishman man on a plane. they are going to france

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What's big, wet and yellowish-green at midnight? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven has an extra penis.

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A man died.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, it's really nice.

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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Jews for Jesus

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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:3

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What has two legs, and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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Ian is cutie!!!!!;)

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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