its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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whats dumb and small? dandruff

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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tea with milk?

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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Women's rights

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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