lick my ballsack.... ok

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Your mom.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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