A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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guess what chicken butt

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the woman cry? She was sodomized by wild animals

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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