The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

thumb_up thumb_down -2

ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok lets... wait.. wtf I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -17

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops