I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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Please don't rape me.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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