There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the man say to the atractive woman? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +17

THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you kill a innocent young boy walking from school? I don't know but do you want to enjoy a refreshing beverage of creaming soda?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a crocodile in a dentist? I have no idea, but I'd hate to be that dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is worse tahn finding a worm in your apple? finding hitler in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops