whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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Yo mama is so fat she has a gym membership and a diet plan to lose weight

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You are gay, homo, stupid and a dick

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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