How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

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You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

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Got no dick? Then you're probably a girl.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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