What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road. A: because he's a chicken?

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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What's cold and icy? Ice

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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y do churches have kneelers?, cuz it puts less stain on ur knees

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw a piece of food that looked yummy, and he wanted to eat it. Unfortunately, the chicken was run over by a car and died.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What is blue and smells like red paint, Blue Paint

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Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

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What ruined the little boy's day? He drowned.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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who is awesome? no one...

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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