- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

Once upon a time, there was a man. He was black. The end.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

punchline below punchline above

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rober-to. What do you call a black guy with a big toe? Tobe Bryant

Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

Where's the dick??? east

You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops