How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

scraggle is in you pillow case

What's two plus two? Window

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. Martin was a lonely man

A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

a person cries in the corner you go over to them and rape them

Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...