Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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