Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I like poo F*** on You By drew bolton

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Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"? He had a terrible case of dementia.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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