How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

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LET

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke in anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

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hot diggity dog

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A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are all on a trian. The white guy says "We should all through something off the train that we have too much of in this country." The mexican throws a sombraro of the train and says " We have too many of these in this country." The black guy throws a gun off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country." The white guy pushes the mexican off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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