What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Here is a nursery rhyme: Jane is a scruff, she has a head full of nits. She also had pain in her great big... Now don't get excited. Don't be mislead. Because all that Jane had was a pain in her head!

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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Hitler is my role model

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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Why was billy made fun of his whole life? Because he's mentally retarded

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What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

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what does a black guy and a chinease guy have is common? I don't know but it would be interesting to find out.

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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