A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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What did the teacher do? He taught.

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There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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