Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

thumb_up thumb_down -18

He walked in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

thumb_up thumb_down

"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

do you currently smoke? i hope not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man was late for work, he came to a stop for his third red light. He stopped and waited for the red light to turn green then continued on his way to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops