What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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A bar walks into a man

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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Why did the Mexican mow his neighbors lawn? Because the Mexican was 12 years old and his neighbor was paying him $20 to mow the lawn.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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