What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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ss sa asd g dg asd g asd g sdg s dg sad g ads g s dg sad g sadg as dg as dg sdg ds gs dg sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg ds gsd g ds g sdg sd g sdg sd g sdg as sdg know i'm sayin?

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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